TheLionRampant.net

Checklist:
1. Hire doula
2. Tour hospital
3. Work on birth plan for next visit with midwife
4. Practice hypno-birthing exercises (I think falling asleep through them is a good thing?)
5. Do pelvic rocks (have done some, though not the 40/day recommended. Does letting Ezra crawl on my back while I do them count?)
6. Take Birthing from Within classes with doula (starts on Saturday).
7. Other items: buy/make small cloth diapers and get out and wash newborn clothes! (Anyone have any advice about cheap cloth diapers for newborns??? Got 6 x-small FuzziBunz from Katie. They’re so cute and tiny!)
8. Get note from midwife stating I can fly (for a visit to check out potential ministry position).
9. (Per Suz’s suggestion) Read more positive VBAC stories.
10. Blow up birth ball and sit on it!
11. Get bags packed for everyone and supplies needed for postpartum.

UPDATE: The midwife was totally fine with our very natural-friendly childbirth plan! I basically used the same birth plan that we used with Ezra and she said that if baby’s heart rate was decelerating much we’d have to do continuous monitoring or if I was throwing up a lot, we’d have to do an IV. But I’m a VBAC and it looks like based on her acceptance of my birth plan I won’t be treated like a total mutant!

Last night Ezra was up a few times during the night due to teething and our dog, Francis, decided he wanted to keep licking his injured foot. It made for a long night that left me pretty tired this morning. (And each morning I wake up tired I wonder how in the world I’m going to be able to handle having an infant on top of this). I will tell you that I really don’t like mornings, or that I used to like them when I was able to get enough sleep and wake up at an opportune time in my sleep cycle. Mornings often show me the true state of myself: angry, frustrated and feeling entitled to at least 7 solid in-a-row hours of sleep.

This morning my mom watched Ezra and I went to the Ladies Community Group with church. We were discussing the sermon on Luke 5:21-39, which discusses the destruction of the Jewish temple in Jerusalem (which happened in 70 AD) and the End of the Age. For all the expected doom and gloom it was an encouraging passage as we discussed it. One thing from the sermon that resonated with me this morning was that little-d ‘destruction’ points to big-D ‘Destruction’; that is, specifically within the historical context the destruction of the Temple points to the Destruction prophesied about concerning the End of the Age. We, like the original Jewish hearers, tend to make our little-d destruction into big-D Destruction. Things in the present tend to take on cataclysmic proportions in our minds. When awoken constantly from what I hoped would be a good sleep, all I could think of was that I was tired and I didn’t deserve this.

But what I fail to remember is the big picture. If I understood that all the little destruction I deal with in life fits under a much larger umbrella, the little incidents — like getting a poor night’s sleep — would take proper dimensions and not make me into the Morning Monster feeling entitled and that everyone must bend to my wishes for a good night’s sleep. Because I obviously love Ezra more than my sleep but at the moment of being re-awoken I fail to respond with sympathy and grace but out of self-entitlement — all of which means that functionally I’m loving myself more than my son. Mothering is hard work and exhausting at this stage and it would be lovely to always sleep well. But in the midst of my little-d destruction of sleep, I pray that I would be able to see it for what it really is and learn little by little how to communicate the gospel of grace to my son, even when it means I’m bleary-eyed from wakefulness.

For those readers who pray, would you please pray for us?
* We are going to a marriage retreat this weekend with our church, Harbor Pres and it will be the first time I’ve spent the night away from Ezra. Please pray that he and I do well and that my parents get sleep!
* We are more than half-way finished with our church planting internship with Harbor and need to know soon where God would have us next. Please pray for discernment and clarity as we investigate options within the next few weeks!
* Please also pray that God would provide money for us — our financial support is due to run out in a month and if we are church planting we will also need to raise a whole lot of money for that too.

It’s the not-knowing that is so hard to deal with. I don’t mind the hard, difficult circumstances God has and may place us in. I just want to know what the next step is for us. Thank you for your prayers as we continue to wait and see what is in store for the Hales family!

I’ve been quite interested in following The Gospel and Culture Project, at least in its manifestations in articles.

A few interesting thoughts from a Wheaton College English prof on The Shack:

Judging from the Pulitzer Prize winning Gilead by Marilynne Robinson, and its National Book Award Finalist companion book, Home, American readers are ready for some theology, even some sermons. Sermons can be comforting. Getting trustworthy thought from trustworthy figures is a rarity and the familiarity of authoritative speech is restful, somehow. But getting a sermon–or several–straight from God’s mouth, well, that takes things to a different level.

While Left Behind at least made some attempt to address the global scope of God’s interest in humans, The Shack filters all its theology through the individual. The Shack shows us, at times, an insulated, regional spirituality, which doesn’t try to answer the global questions beyond those of Mack’s personal tragedy. An over-indulgence of this kind of focus can lead to the other end of the self-massaging spectrum from the vindication complex, one equally destructive to Christian mission.

Full article can be found here.

I hope to think through the issues of faith, the gospel and fiction when I have a bit more time on my hands. For now this serves as a good reminder to come back to it.

I’m 32 weeks pregnant which means I have roughly 2 months to go. I can’t believe Baby #2 will be here so soon. As many of you know, we had to have a c-section with Ezra due to heart rate continuing to decelerate during contractions (birth story here) and since taking Bradley classes when pregnant with Ezra, I’ve really, really wanted an unmedicated vaginal birth. So we’re hoping for a VBAC this time around.

We had wanted to have our second son at a birth center, but sadly the only freestanding birth center in San Diego cannot see VBACs at their center. That left a home birth or a hospital birth. Given that Ezra’s c-section was medically necessary, I think we’re a bit shy of a home birth at this point. We are with Kaiser and thankfully they do have midwives as part of their OB-GYN practice, so we do get a *bit* less of the medical model with that. When we toured the hospital they seemed like they likely do things “by the book”, including regularly inducing patients and suggesting epidurals. However, they do have rocking chairs and birth balls available as well as a squat bar for pushing. They do seem that they want to help you have the birth you want but don’t particularly advocate “natural birth” for everyone.

To ensure the greatest possible chances of having a successful VBAC, we’ve hired a doula to help us manage the labor at home as long as possible. That way they won’t want to rush me off to the OR at the hint of decels (which are normal). I’ll keep you all updated on my VBAC journey as it gets closer!

Checklist:
1. Hire doula
2. Tour hospital
3. Work on birth plan for next visit with midwife
4. Practice hypno-birthing exercises
5. Do pelvic rocks
6. Take Birthing from Within classes with doula (starts in a few weeks!).
7. Other items: buy/make small cloth diapers and get out and wash newborn clothes!

The Prodigal God (Tim Keller)
A great little book explaining the Parable of the Prodigal Sons; what I appreciate most about this book is its penetrating clarity, its lack of wordiness, and the biblical emphasis that we, like both the elder and younger brothers, are lost, and don’t understand the nature of sin or the nature of God’s abundant grace to us. Highly recommended, especially for older brother types like me.

A Treatise of Human Nature (David Hume)
As you might expect I read this nearly-700 page book for my PhD thesis (for the second time). Actually I’m unsure if I’d actually read all of it before now (having had read relevant parts and skimming the rest). For as much as Hume is maligned often as the Chief Skeptic I found most of his reasoning interesting and convincing — though he doesn’t leave room for many things beyond the empirical realm, which is indeed problematic. His writing is clear, fluid and actually gets into a narrative rhythm, especially in Book III: Of Morals. Recommended for philosophy-enthusiasts and for the layman, Book 1 of the Treatise would be worth picking up (especially for its pseudo-Calvinist ending).

Currently on the nightstand: Hypno-birthing, still working on What Mothers Do, Mama, PhD, skimming again through Sears’ The Birth Book, and for my book club, Things I’ve been Silent About.