Blah
I was feeling pretty blah earlier today. I don’t feel like I have any good friends. I haven’t heard from my friends back home (with a couple notable exceptions) since we were there in January. Sometimes I think I’m just a jerk, or I can’t relax enough, or something, and it freaks people out. A lot of it is my own insecurities and not feeling included unless I’m specifically invited, both of which are probably heightened by living in a different culture.
Some of this feeling is probably helpful, in as much as it helps me re-align my priorities. And I’m likely to have few really close friends as a pastor. Still, it feels pretty lonely at times.
Since I was feeling pretty lame, Ash and I had banana splits for dinner and watched the Station Agent, which was very good (and strangely appropriate, now that I think about it). Something about shirking normal adult practices of eating a balanced dinner and studying like I should seems to alleviate things a bit. So that’s good.
So, woe is me, I guess. Maybe it will actually be spring when I wake up tomorrow and life will look better. Either that or I’ll become a hermit for the next couple weeks and end up acing my finals.
April 21st, 2005 at 12:50 am
Hey Bryce - Sorry you’re feeling a bit down! I think we all get the blahs every once in a while (I know I do). It sounds like Ashley understands you pretty well though–banana splits for dinner?!–what a wife.
April 21st, 2005 at 9:55 am
Bryce,
I bet you can somehow find a balance between enjoying the watery sunshine and acing your finals!!
I really understand what you said regarding friends, I have really felt that I have drifted from many of my good friends in the last few years and regarding invites I am exactly the same if I am not directly invited I never feel included! I am trying to work on this and not feel snubbed, but it is hard as I am also super-sensitive, not a good combo.
Sorry this is so long - Cheers, Neyir
April 21st, 2005 at 2:35 pm
Whaddya know, Bryce - it IS spring today!
April 21st, 2005 at 3:59 pm
I feel ya, Bryce. I hope tomorrow brightens your outlook–unless of course you end up the murderer. Then I suppose your life will be much worse (when we hang you like you hang all those witches!)
I love how random that sounds. *Bryce is not really a witch-hunter.
April 21st, 2005 at 7:57 pm
Bryce,
I can relate to the whole friend thing. Although the last year has been amazing because I married my best friend, Melissa, it has been painful because those I thought I would be lifelong friends I don’t communicate with anymore. I spent most of the last 17 years on college campuses either as a student or a professional in college student development and had built intense relationships which now are almost non-existent. I am thankful though for God’s grace through his amazing gift of Melissa.
April 23rd, 2005 at 8:39 pm
Thanks for your comments guys. I appreciate it.