A short bit
Bare with me as continue to think through these issues …
I am very inspired by so many women who seem to do it all — who labour tirelessly, who plan healthy meals, support their families, save money and some even have a job, creative outlet or area in which to serve as well. The type of women that read The Tightwad Gazette and make up their own cleaning products. The women with their own organic gardens who manage to feed a growing family on next-to-nothing. If I ever become a stay-at-home mom someday this is the type of woman I want to be — for example, one whose daily choices help alleviate global suffering (buying fair trade/organic food for instance) while keeping one’s family healthy.
I’m also astounded by the many women who seem to be the intellectual equals of men in whatever field they are in. Take my supervisor for instance: she’s a full professor and the director of a research institute, on numerous boards, publishes extensively, is a fabulous teacher and quite a caring individual. Did I mention she also has a family? Amazing.
I think both the thrifty SAHM and the career woman (with or without children) can have the tendency towards pride. It seems — please note, probably with reason — that the church will confirm the SAHM while denoucing the career woman for “going beyond her place” (especially if she has a family). Granted, however, the SAHM is probably more apt to be less prideful; something about cleaning up after a messy baby in the middle of the night does wonders for one’s pride, I imagine. 
All that to say, I have been reminded after a conversation with my sister-in-law that women — in whatever situation they find themselves — must have their identity in Christ, must live out their calling to the glory of God, must live out the gospel in their particular corner. I think the temptation for all of us is to become enmeshed with something other than Christ — which is rather obvious considering we are innately sinful — whether that be one’s role as wife/mother or a career or other pursuit. So I would encourage those of you who read this blog to hide yourself in Christ alone and keep that as your focus; seek Him first, not advancement of any sort. I know you Christians know this, but I hope to encourage you still to remember and believe the gospel as we all find out where God plans for us to be.
September 7th, 2005 at 10:41 am
I don’t think I’m going to be one of those kind of moms, much as I would like to be. I think I’m just too lazy.
September 7th, 2005 at 6:11 pm
profound reminder - thanks, Ash
September 7th, 2005 at 10:36 pm
from a quiet viewer who decided to de-lurk…what an encouragment! thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
September 8th, 2005 at 9:36 am
Hi Ashley.
It’s a real (exhausting) learning curve for me being at home with the boys instead of out at work. I’m not organised by nature and so planning and preparing meals and getting the through the endless laundry is just non stop. I think the SAHM you desribe in your opening paragraph is the ideal, but most I know(including me) would feel they don’t measure up to that picture. it’s a lot harder than I ever imagined, mostly due to chronic tiredness.
I do feel that the role of the SAHM is seriously overlooked by our society including those in churches. I hear constant ‘reports’ and ’studies’ that are at pains to point out that infants raised in full time nurseries are just as well grounded as their contemporaries at home with their mothers. Basically what they are saying is that children at home with there mums have no advantage over those in full time care. I feel really undermined by that, but resolute in my belief that their being here with me is worthwhile and infinitely better than day care.
September 8th, 2005 at 10:10 am
thanks Sheena for your comment; from things I’ve heard children do develop better when they are at home, at least for the early ages (my mom who’s done a lot of research on child development confirmed this, esp regarding language acquisition). For instance, there are 2 young women at home in the States whom my mom knows, both with boys around the same age. One woman works and sends here son off to daycare and the other is a SAHM; the boy that goes to daycare is developmentally behind the other especially in his language acquistion. So you are doing a good thing!
I understand your point about not meeting up to the ideal; I know if I am to ever become a SAHM for a period that I won’t meet up to the ideal either. And I know I won’t ever meet up to the renown and clout of my supervisor either. It’s a reminder as much to me to remember where my hope lies.
September 8th, 2005 at 2:38 pm
Oh and cc, thanks for de-lurking and commenting! We appreciate it.
September 8th, 2005 at 6:33 pm
Yeah, de-lurking rocks. I think we should an official de-lurking day.
September 8th, 2005 at 7:49 pm
I believe I am doing the right thing being at home, so on that note, I’ll go and cook something yummy for David before he gets back from the midweek meeting!
September 11th, 2005 at 1:12 am
Thanks for the well-thought-out encouragement, Ashley!
September 14th, 2005 at 6:14 am
As a young, non-Christian mother, I frequently sought my husbands validation of my “job”, and although he always affirmed my worth, the need for me to have an outside job never left my consiousness. But while I did have fulfilling outside jobs and interests, I continued to have doubts about my worthiness as a mother and wife, but not about my paid jobs. When I became a Christian, God began to fill me with a sense of self respect for the role I was living. The peace and contentment I enjoy from my career as a SAHM (a new acronym for me!) is from the Holy Spirit, my relationship with Christ, and not from the church. However, had it not been for the church, I would never have experienced quite the same joy I have known as a SAHM. That being said, I must say that I still continue to search for God’s calling in my life, but being very aware that it is Him I desire to serve, has led to many exciting adventures along the way. If each adventure glorifies God, who am I to say I have not yet discovered my calling?